we broke up and he got another girl pregnant

Nope, none of it matters. That support is not hers. Your body, your choice; however, your choice, your problem. BC. )boyfriend who got the woman pregnant. Men this means condom. Or so so many of you all keep saying. pretty sure he is actually an extreme pro-lifer who is playing into his rhetoric backwards. Sleeping without protection with someone who you knew for two minutes ? If he suddenly decided to emotionally ditch this woman when she was five months pregnant or after the baby was born, Id been singing another tune. But if its not, ITA with Amanda, LW. Chuck Pelto Yea, it does sound even more ridiculous today. I dont think anyone thinks hes an ass for having sex with someone after a split. But it is probably fair to say I hate the over-the-top modern feminism you appear to espouse. First of all, she seems to think her boyfriends reaction is completely reasonable. Has she tried to convince him to come back to her? The outlet revealed that Tristan's third child, a baby boy, is due on December 3 . But hes no knight in shining armor because he is willing to bare some legally minimal level of responsibility. Im NOT saying she should abort, just that shes an idiot & she shouldnt expect a one-night stander to suddenly be a father. And that isnt fair either. Termination of Parental rights does NOT absolve you from paying Child Support in the United States of America. 5 SIGNS YOUR EX IS IN ONE & WHY THEY FAIL - Natasha Adamo Im happy to have found a father in my father-in-law, who has really become the dad I never had in that he loves me, supports me, listens to me, and even spoils me, haha! Doesnt have to be romantically involved with this woman, but he wants nothing to do with the child that he helped to create, or the woman he cant stand. What is he supposed to do to prove hes not scum? Because thats really not that old. Ill never leave you. Courts are loath to do anything but joint custody unless one of the parents is an absolute idiot. Who are we talking about now? My Boyfriend Got Another Girl Pregnant Before We Started Dating, What As a woman, you have control over that. Stay with someone he dislikes because she became pregnant? Hes signing up for sex, not fatherhood, and it is an egregious breach of the implied sexual contract for the woman to turn around and say, Whups, knocked up! Is it 100% fair to men or women? honeybeenicki Your are putting words into peoples mouths. At this point I dont think it matters how this woman got pregnant: she did. i am currently in an awful situation. Its interesting how none of these comments address that he SPECIFICALLY said that he would have nothing to do with his own child. That makes her a scumbag, but it really doesnt absolve you of being the parent for that child. And it wont be you for very long. We dont even know that this other woman told the bf that she is pregnant. And shame on you for agreeing that he is entitled to this opinion. That is called deception. You are being played with a capital P! This is a man that has never stopped cheating on you. SpaceySteph As far as your relationship with him. April 10, 2012, 5:55 pm, Heterophobe, hmmm, thats new one. Really!? Nope. from the letter: Or could CG be right, and this is all a hoax? According to legal abortion theory, only women create children. In many states men can declare themselves non-fathers. Other times, breakups are not so obvious, and that can leave you questioning your decision. 6napkinburger I think your anger is severely displaced and I think I know why if you evaluate the situation without being blinded by your inability to live without this guy, you would see that his true character is shining through and its probably not someone you really want to be with. SMDH! Again, this was the perfect time to walk away, and end it with him. Youre only asking for heartache down the road. Its not fair to create a child and then abandon it. Fyrebyrd2 Interesting! honeybeenicki End. And not even the most important part. If he wore a condom and if she was on the pill, hes an idiot because what? For more information, please see our April 9, 2012, 6:35 pm, Not highly infectious, huh? But, seriously you should both get tested for STDs. I'm very upset that my ex girlfriend got pregnant by her new boyfriend He can just disappear forever for all I care. Men are stupid and do stupid things, but so are women. April 9, 2012, 12:08 pm. Not to say that a single mother cannot give a child the support she needs alone, but as the father if you wash your hands of being in the childs life, you do not KNOW or even have a reasonable expectation (especially if shes a one night stand youve only known for 2 minutes) that the mother will be a sufficient parent. Wow, that was a super bitchy thing to say. If not, then why cant a man sever all legal and fiscal responsibility prior to the childs birth (as it would be a parallel situation)? Those double standards take up too much room. Adoptive parents are as capable as any others of deciding that having a child isnt right for them, that they werent as prepared for it as they thought, and that the child isnt really theirs, and theyre as likely to have other major negative events in their lives as anyone. Only a valid argument of youre completely unaware of how babies are made and that birth control does not prevent pregnancy but only reduces the likelihood. female The dude in your story is a pretty big idiot if he doesnt want to be a dada but the word of a woman he had known for two minutes that she was on the pill was enough to get him to bone her. April 10, 2012, 9:34 am. We have been able to shield the kids from this at this point. Child support is nice, but a father it does not make. But she can also at any time change her mind and he has no recourse. Its not a mystery. You deserve each other! Hes obligated to financially support the baby, which he is willing to do. List of Everybody Hates Chris characters - Wikipedia April 10, 2012, 11:39 am, Im NOT saying she should abort, just that shes an idiot & she shouldnt expect a one-night stander to suddenly be a father. My boyfriend and I split up for two months. She told him she got pregnant on the pill, which I think is a lot of cod wallopBut I think shes tried to trap him and hes untrappable. How the heck do you administer THAT?! Women why do we allow men to sleep with us while they are drunk again..my god.I wont say dont continue your relationship but it will be hard. I could hypothesize all day and comment on all kinds of things that might be happening but theres enough crap in this letter that it hardly seems necessary to make any up. It upsets me how much anger seems to be directed towards this unborn child. Im not saying he did. Dude, get away from this guy pronto! Exactly; he sounds like a total loser, and how the hell would she ever be able to trust him going forward? Whatever happened to you to make you hate women doesnt have to mean a lifetime of whiny bitterness. That goes for women as well. Why do you think that is? If he doesnt own up to his part in creating a child, sorry, I think hes a jerk. He can take all the risks he wants its his choice. 24 signs your ex-girlfriend misses you 1) She's all over your social If He sounds like bad news. Perhaps youd like to refute them instead of going the easy route and calling him a troll simply because he disagrees with you. Listen, people have sexcasuallyand sometimes with people they never hope to see again. Just stay away from mens wallets. Second, after all this talk of how disgusting he was for supposedly not using a condom, not knowing her all that long, etc., why no talk about this woman doing the exact same thing (number it takes to tango = 2) and having to deal with the consequences? As for what you do: I personally would ask him to ask the woman to get a paternity test. April 10, 2012, 6:58 pm. I think that gives you a little time to get on her good side and work on those shortcomings. Solved. Even people who do want to have one often suffer from some kind of depression or at least sadness. Temperance He should get a damn vasectomy. Any woman who, in a divorce, grants custody of the children to the father is an immature asshole, and any woman who spends her life in her career an allows the father to raise the children is an immature asshole, because, in each of those cases, the woman is just as guilty of abdicating the role of parent as the guy here would be, and in many of them, she also doesnt even provide financial support. I totally agree with you for reasons you likely already understand. No. I just found out 4 days ago that my ex got a girl pregnant. bittergaymark Dude, thats seriously out of line. I dont think I have ever seen so many thumbs up on one post And it deserves them! Sounds like its coming out of the starting blocks with two strikes against it in the gene pool department. April 10, 2012, 7:09 pm. And if this woman buys that line, shes a moron too. It's good that he's being a responsible father already by supporting them financially. Its not really his right to decide whether or not she keeps the baby. only an ass would be furious at anyone other than himself when he becomes obligated to provide for a child that he created.. And most important of all, whats all this talk of ASKING WOMEN to have abortions? The waiter has no idea that she has a severe allergy to peanuts, so doesnt tell the kitchen to change gloves when preparing her meal. If you have any self respect, dump the sob. Your argument that consenting adults should never have sex unless theyre prepared to become parents neglects the fact that not only do we have the means to significantly reduce the risk of pregnancy, we have extremely safe ways of terminating pregnancies, especially very early on. Besides, he made that choice a long time ago when you broke up the first time. Im pretty surprised by some of the stances shes made on this thread and I do enjoy and almost always agree with her comments. She has to go through a pregnancy no matter what (assuming she doesnt believe in abortion). I want to get angry but I don't know if it's considered cheating. But, they both had lawyers. That was almost two years ago, and we never saw each other, spoke, or texted again. (i.e. There is no child at conception very good. Im PRETTY sure you only included this to make yourself sound like a selfless person. I dont see why the guy should get a free pass for having unprotected sex. The point you bring up here is why I cant wrap my head around one night stands. April 9, 2012, 5:24 pm, The mention of being logical for some reason made me think of the whole idea of true abandonment. Theyre eating each other alive, and theyre doing it up hill both ways, in three feet of snow, with no shoes on! The law does not say men need to be financially responsible if the woman decides he should be. He has a choice he can be a father and split the responsibility with the mother instead of forcing her to have sole responsibility. LW says they were separated for two months. There is a massive difference between wanting a pregnancy to be terminated and deciding to have nothing to do with a child who has been born. The law does, because once the child is here, through no fault of its own, it needs to be supported in order to have a successful life and successful children are in the best interest of all of society. He actually did believe he was the dad, which means he actually did cheat with this other woman. Having the right to do something OBVIOUSLY doesnt mean its always a good idea. theQuietOne because it is the womans responsibility to take her pill on time, etc if thats the type of birth control shes chosen. Its as simple as saying you are on the pill when you arent. While I realize that this is a stressful situation, your letter indicates that you will always harbor resentment for this child and this woman who will be in you and your boyfriends lives FOREVER. Oh I completely agree! Just found out my boyfriend got another girl pregnant Once you decide to have sex you are basically saying that you realize pregnancy is a possibility. Womans body, womans choice, womans child, NEVER is it the mans child. But clearly this woman who is keeping her child DOES really want the child and is presumably prepared to handle all that comes with having a child. Wrap it up or dont have sex, thats the only choice YOU have. It doesnt involve any weird semi-involvement; but rather a clean break for the child and a chance to build a happy, loving life with a set of great parents. I spoke with him a second time after many missed calls and he seemed really upset about his situation and begged me to talk to him. Good times. He had a FWB relationship with a girl and always used condoms. Both men and women create children. Its easy to think the guy is a scumbag for not wanting to be a dad. She seems proud of his bad-boy ways and his current claim that she is the only woman who can tame him into marriage. My husbands 2 month affair has ended with his girlfriend being pregnant We all know breakups are painful. reader, Junebug2589+, writes (22 November 2008): A I dont ever remember being heartbroken about not having a father. Im not sure. By the way, there was no implication that it makes it easy for the woman to get child support. She came first. Maam, hes made a choice. April 9, 2012, 3:07 pm. And those rapists who raped them get the money? He has been torn up by the pain he has caused me. I dont know how you can defend it. The calculus is income dependent based on whos the higher earner. Blowjobs are a practice in breath holding and gag reflex control, and my jaw ends up hurting pretty badly if I do it for long enough. A April 9, 2012, 7:33 pm. Because one of the known outcomes is happening to him and hes pissed at someone else. React. Where does the stork fit in? Abortion and adoption are both horrifying thoughts to Susie but she has no choice. Reframed to show the low quality of the comparison: Would you like an abortion? = Would you like fries with that? > OK! Doesnt matter if the owner of cocacola sat down with you and discussed the possible risk of opening a bottle and what you would both do if something went wrong. 4) The boyfriend, especially given his age (and that this cant be blamed on youthful impulsiveness), doesnt look the best in this scenario. So, you read the letter and all of the replies and what you got out of it is that a guy got a girl preganant who he doesnt want to be with his entire life and everyone responding considers him a jackass because of that? A forty year old man should know that once is all it takes to handcuff himselfto someone for the next 19 years or so. Its not a complex procedure. Who then supports the child that the man made? I love him so I'm willing to accept the baby. And Im not sure what his being 40 years old has to do with her getting an abortion. Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean and LIKE Terrance Dean on Facebook, clickHERE! April 10, 2012, 5:01 pm. Just feeding on each other and leaving a trail of human wreckage in their wake. You dont have an obligation to be faithful to an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend! If there was a child at conception, abortion would be murder. Still, if I were the LW and I saw my newly reunited BF acting this way about his soon to be born child, Id get the heck out of there. Or is it Dear Wendy gender wars where the men stick together to excuse bad behavior of men while the women cry foul? I dont think a relationship with the other woman will work but at the same time Id run from a man who wants nothing to do with their own child. Well, now it's been years. For anyone. Are sued for child support. Good. Oh, really? so many unwanted and unplanned pregnancies could be prevented if people just showed more interested and care in using birth control. The letter implies that the only protection used was the birth control. April 9, 2012, 10:04 pm. The crazies on both sides just come crawling out of the woodwork. iseeshiny She cant afford a child on her own. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? I agree that using a condom (even when she was on the Pill) would not have necessarily meant she wouldnt have gotten pregnant. Has a great job. He made his feelings clear to her when she was only two weeks pregnant, telling her they havent been together two minutes! February 1, 2014, 11:38 am. The carpenter asks his brother to impregnate his wife via IVF using the carpenters sperm. lets_be_honest Yet when it came to her most recent boyfriend, John . He told me he will obviously be paying for it but wants nothing to do with her OR the baby. Understand that he will not leave her for you. In the state I live in, you can leave a baby (or even child I think) in a church or hospital if you do not want the child and you will not get in any trouble for it. And the fact is, biology dictates that women have control once a pregnancy has occurred- not just the legal system. So go whine about how unfair life is to someone who is as ignorant as you are about how life works. I feel no connection to my biological siblings, even though they desire a relationship with me.